Jamaica Update

It's not all that glitter is gold
Half the story has never been told

Not your typical Jamaican home

It is hard to know where to begin. I guess I will leave my personal relationship aside for now although it does factor into the move. This post is about moving to another country. A third world country. A country that essentially chewed me up and spit me out in a very short period of time. I feel guilty exposing the fact that Jamaicans are forced to be financially transactional in order to survive. In other words, everyone has a hustle and is on the take. The poverty is staggering and the average family works hard without complaining. The children are well behaved and respectful. The educational system is solid, although I learned that schools are having a hard time getting high school males to attend on a regular basis. I saw a Facebook post by a principal asking for donations of cell phones to entice boys to come to school! There are few opportunities for well paying jobs on the island besides working in hospitality jobs at foreign-owned resorts. The disparity between the all-inclusive resorts and the rest of the island is notable.

These are just my observations.

Dotted on the hillside are hundreds of obviously unfinished homes, concrete structures with no windows or walls or doors. I noticed this the first time I traveled to Jamaica years ago. Patrick told me they were works-in-progress, yet that turned out not to be the case. Judging from our own building project, what I learned was - building a home in Jamaica is a money pit. Literally, a bottomless pit of unplanned expenses and money needed for palm greasing and things gone awry. In fact, one should expect things to go awry the first time (and often the 2nd and 3rd time) with just about everything. Workers show up when they want and rest when they feel like it, sleep on the job, and work barefoot with a joint in their mouth at all times. The sun is relentless. They are not lazy. It’s just the way things are.

Contractors lie about deadlines. We were told we would be eating Thanksgiving dinner in the house two years ago and I wonder if dinner will be served there this November. (They do not celebrate Thanksgiving in Jamaica, but it was all part of the contractor’s bullshit line.) Goods come from overseas and promises about arrival times mean nothing, particularly goods from America. The hold up seems to be due to customs. When you import goods from America, you need to hire a customs broker at a rate of $1200 to navigate the customs office who on a good day might charge you $10,000 to import your stuff from America or on a bad day, $20,000. They might open all of your boxes to determine what gets taxed and what doesn’t or they might open some. Their criteria is nebulous at best.

The water lines

The power goes out often with no explanation and when it does, the workers will go home. Sometimes, the workers will cut through a water line and there will be no water until it is fixed the next day if you’re lucky. We had only cold water for the first few months we were living there. Homes do not have hot water heaters like in America. Water is heated by solar heaters on the roof (another huge expense) and water is either scalding hot or not, sometimes just a trickle. No one can explain why.

In fact, my attempts to communicate with Jamaicans has been troubling. For the most part I understand Jamaican patois, although I don’t dare try to speak it. Even a simple ‘Ya, mon’ spoken by a white girl comes out sounding forced and foolish. Since it is a British commonwealth, the King’s English is taught in public schools, so it is not a language barrier issue. I sense that when I speak to Jamaicans they look at me as if to say, why are you talking to me? Most of the time when I speak to someone, they simply walk away from me as if I am speaking another language. It is perplexing.

We had lived in Florida for three years and had the air conditioning on every single day. When we moved to Jamaica, there were no air conditioning units installed yet (no one has central air except the resorts) and it was unbearably hot to me. The heat didn’t seem to bother anyone else. Same thing with the mosquitos. I felt like the odd person out, slathering on sunscreen and bug spray constantly. It was as if the land itself was trying to chase me away.

We had recently sold a two bedroom condo in Florida which was my escape hatch whenever I got frustrated with the slow building process and uncomfortable living conditions on the island. Now I felt trapped. I missed the gym and the pool at our condo in Florida.

The pool, months in the making

$100,000.00 American dollars to build this monstronsity

The view from the property on the hill in Jamaica is fabulous, but something about being up there did not sit well with me. The workers outside were building a pool for months, carrying buckets of sand and cement up a hill, day after day, filling in the hillside to support the pool. I am not a builder, but it seems to me that a cement mixer could have done the job in two days. The pool is still not finished. I am certain that one day it will be grand. I am just not sure that I am willing to stick around waiting for it to be completed.

Garbage everywhere

Patrick’s property has had workers there for the past three years and there is trash everywhere. Jamaicans throw their garbage on the ground. This is not an exaggeration. Plastic bottles are EVERYWHERE on the entire island and garbage pickup is unpredictable. Most people burn their own trash including plastic and items that should otherwise be recycled. If there is recycling on the island, we are not aware of it. It drives me crazy.

Waiting in line for everything is normal. We waited two hours once to put money in the bank! There were seats in the waiting area, but no air conditioning and no bathrooms. I found it insulting.

There is always a long line at the ATM machines.

Then there is this:

Jamaica has a Level 4 travel advisory, meaning "Do Not Travel," due to high rates of crime including armed robberies, sexual assaults, and homicides. Specific areas within Jamaica are designated as "Do Not Travel" zones. The U.S. Embassy also notes concerns about the slow or unsatisfactory response to serious criminal incidents, including slow or ineffective prosecution of cases. Health care, particularly ambulance services, is also a concern in Jamaica, especially in rural areas. KHOU

Make of it what you will.

Someone broke into our container and stole our electric bicycles.

Patrick’s property has a 6 foot fence and gate surrounding his land. There are cameras on the outside and inside of the house, an alarm system and locks on every door, including every closet in the house. It is unnerving and makes it hard to relax and just be. When we leave the house, Patrick is constantly checking his phone and looking at the cameras to see what is going on on his property, making sure no one has entered his house and is stealing from him. He is not bothered by this. I am.

SO

I decided that I would rent a small apartment in Florida to avoid the frustrations of living in a construction zone. I hate to admit defeat, but living in Jamaica was not the dream retirement I had in mind. Turns out, it was Patrick’s dream to return there and I was just along for the ride.

My plans for hosting a writers’ retreat in Jamaica will just have to wait. For how long? Well, that is the question.

With all that said, Jamaica’s natural beauty cannot be understated, but living on a tropical island is not the same as visiting a tropical island.